I’ll write this as my personal truth; there is fear and then there is becoming a parent.

We were hosting a holiday party when my daughter choked. Someone had served her a slice of American cheese and paired it with a fruit roll up. After I’d fished the goop out with the hook of my finger and performed the Heimlich she finally breathed deep, but it is beyond me how anyone thought it was a good idea to feed that combination to a toddler (and walk away). Each edible sheet was so securely adhered to her plate a metal spatula with a serrated edge was required to scrape off the remains. Within a few weeks my hair line revealed a solid strip of gray and it occurred to me then that we are usually defined by what we fear most.